You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.