You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.