If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.
Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.