You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.