I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.