You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.