You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.