You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.