You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day... to whip our ass.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.