You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.