I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.