You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.