You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.

People should see your faith. If all you do is talk about your faith and people don't see it, but they ought to see it in the way you treat your family, you treat your friends, you treat your community.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.