If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.