If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

There's no down time any more.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.