You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
Jeff FoxworthyThe designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
Jeff FoxworthyYou might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
Jeff FoxworthyWomen in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.
Jeff Foxworthy