You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.