You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.