I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

As an individual, as a household, you can't spend more money than you're bringing in. You can do it for a little while, but you end up going broke and you end up losing everything you have. That is the path that we're on as a country, and it scares me to death.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.