I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.