It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

If you don't have anything good to say about someone, you must be talking about Hillary Clinton.