Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.

As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.