It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.