I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?