I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.

People should see your faith. If all you do is talk about your faith and people don't see it, but they ought to see it in the way you treat your family, you treat your friends, you treat your community.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?