I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day... to whip our ass.

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.