You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.