You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.
You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.