You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.