You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.