You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.