You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.