You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.

I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say "Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again."

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.