I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say "Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again."

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.