I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say "Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again."

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.

You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.