You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.