You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting, we want to protect it. You ever seen people who have like a piece of crap Pinto with a Club on the steering wheel. Somebody breaks the window, steals the Club, leaves the Pinto in a pile of glass.

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

There's no down time any more.