Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.