Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.