Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.