Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.