Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.