You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.