You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day... to whip our ass.