You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.