You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.

I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.