You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.