You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

This happened to me last week. We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now. And we have the painters in, putting sheets up around the furniture, you know? And we have a piano, just a regular, up against the wall piano. One of the painters said to me, "Is that y'all's piano?" I said, "Nah, that's our coffee table, it just has buckteeth! Here's your Sign!

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.