You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.