You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.

It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.