You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.