You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.