I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.