You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.