You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would say, "Foxworthy, you ain't nothing but a redneck from Georgia!" It kind of became a formula joke.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.