You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.