That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.