You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

I'm very lucky in that I've gotten to do a lot of things. But if you ever put a gun to my head and said, "You can only do one," I'd think it would be stand-up. I think it's the coolest job in the world.

Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.

We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists.

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.