You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.