You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

There's no down time any more.

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.