You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.