You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.