If you don't have anything good to say about someone, you must be talking about Hillary Clinton.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.