If you don't have anything good to say about someone, you must be talking about Hillary Clinton.

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.