If you don't have anything good to say about someone, you must be talking about Hillary Clinton.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.