If you don't have anything good to say about someone, you must be talking about Hillary Clinton.

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.