You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.