Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!