You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.