You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.