You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.