I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love dolls clothes

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.