You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.