You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.