You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.