We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.