You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the middle of the night; I woke up and went Oww! What was that for?, and she goes I dreamt you were making out with Faith Hill. I said I wasn't dreaming anything! Send her over to my dreams, and we'll both be happy.

We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

As an individual, as a household, you can't spend more money than you're bringing in. You can do it for a little while, but you end up going broke and you end up losing everything you have. That is the path that we're on as a country, and it scares me to death.

It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.