You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.

I'm an outdoor nut. If I'm not working, I'm on a tractor on my farm, hunting, fishing or climbing a mountain.

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.