You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead