When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.