When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!