When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

I'm an outdoor nut. If I'm not working, I'm on a tractor on my farm, hunting, fishing or climbing a mountain.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.