You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.