You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.