You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.

To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.

When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting, we want to protect it. You ever seen people who have like a piece of crap Pinto with a Club on the steering wheel. Somebody breaks the window, steals the Club, leaves the Pinto in a pile of glass.