You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

This happened to me last week. We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now. And we have the painters in, putting sheets up around the furniture, you know? And we have a piano, just a regular, up against the wall piano. One of the painters said to me, "Is that y'all's piano?" I said, "Nah, that's our coffee table, it just has buckteeth! Here's your Sign!

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.